Stop Telling, Start Asking: Why Your Leadership Approach is Stalling
Mar 13, 2026"I tried that approach with them. It didn’t work."
As a mentor for people leaders, I hear this phrase more than almost anything else. Usually, it is delivered with a shrug of the shoulders or a sigh of frustration. The implication is often that the team is the problem—that they are either too stuck in their ways or simply not "getting it."
However, when we dig into the details, the issue is rarely the direction. The strategic intent is almost always spot on. The failure lies in the execution.
The Trap of the "Big Announcement"
I see this pattern play out frequently within senior leadership teams. A director decides the team needs to think more commercially, take greater ownership, or begin challenging the status quo.
The intent is noble. The method, however, is flawed. The standard approach is to announce the new mindset in a meeting, present a slide deck on it, or repeat the mantra until it feels like it should have landed.
It rarely works as effectively as leaders believe it should. This is not because employees are inherently resistant to progress. It is because they were never given the psychological conditions to arrive at that thinking themselves.
The Power of the Open Question
There is a fundamental difference between telling a team "we need to be more innovative" and asking "what is the one thing we keep doing the same way we have always done it, and why?"
The first statement is a directive that often closes a conversation. It puts people on the defensive or, worse, results in passive nodding without any real cognitive shift. The second is an invitation. It opens the floor for genuine reflection and creates a safe space for honesty.
This principle remains just as vital in one-to-one sessions. Leaders who ask "what would you do differently?" create something a directive never can: a sense of personal ownership over the conclusion. When an individual identifies the solution themselves, they are no longer just following an instruction. They are executing their own idea.
Creating the Environment for Change
At its core, leadership at its best is not about directing thought. It is about creating the environment where new thought becomes possible.
The majority of people do not resist change because they are difficult or stubborn. They resist it because they were never given the space to reach a new conclusion on their own terms. If you simply hand someone a finished thought, they have no investment in it. If you help them build that thought, they will defend it.
If you want your team to think differently, stop telling them what to think. Instead, give them the space to explore the "why" and the "how" for themselves. When you provide the right conditions, the elevated thinking you are looking for follows naturally.
Take Your Leadership to the Next Level
If you are ready to move beyond directives and start building a culture of genuine ownership, the EdgeEQ Advanced Program is designed for you. We help senior leaders master the emotional intelligence and communication frameworks required to create high-performing, autonomous teams.
Learn how to create the space for better thinking. Explore the EdgeEQ Advanced Program today.
Looking to shift how your team shows up?
Check out Elephant in the Room ā€” our signature training programme for teams ready to build trust, speak honestly, and perform at a higher level.
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